Emotions

People hurt my feelings a lot. I don't even know if they know that they are doing it most of the time. I don't always say something about it, but a lot of times when I do, the person doesn't really understand why I am really upset. I think most people are really selfish most of the time. They are looking for the best experience they can have. I can't make people feel bad about that. But somehow it seems wrong if you constantly look for the best time and leave your friends behind all the time. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about... I just feel like I get ditched a lot. It's a horrible feeling to know that someone will take off at any moment if something more fun is going on somewhere else. Yet when they are bored, they are always calling you. It makes me feel very disposable, and like my feelings are not considered.

Camping in Mendocino

For my friend Mandy's birthday we decided to "get campy with it" and spent the weekend in Mendocino County. We camped out Friday night at Hendy Woods, then took the coastal tour of Ft. Bragg, Mendocino, and Elk. We started in Mendocino, had sandwiches at the Mendocino Market Deli, which by the way is the best sandwich I HAVE EVER HAD. No lie. Try the grilled chicken sandwich with gouda and pesto or avocado... simply melts in your mouth. I usually eat the whole thing. Next we went cave exploring on the Mendocino Beach. Waterfalls with lots of vibrant flowers growing naturally, and succulent dudleyas growing in crevices in the cliffside. My favorite were the chalk blue dudleyas with red tipped leaves, sending out stalks of bright yellow clusters of flowers.

We piled in our cars and drove north to Ft. Bragg where we visited the Mendocino Botanical Gardens. I usually go in the spring when the rhododendrons are in full bloom, but we were a bit late for that. We did enjoy the succulent garden the the coastal bluffs with tidepools and turquoise waters.



We drove a bit more north to Glass Beach. The entire beach is covered with tiny polished pieces of colored glass, mostly green, brown, and clear. The sea sparkles with the glass that sits at the ocean floor. That day the seemed almost peacefully mystical, with the rolling fog draping over the cliffsides in the distance. That beach has always reminded me of Italy, particularly Palermo, with it's craggy gray and dark rocks jutting out from the small inlet covered with glass. All along the shore, people of all kinds sit on the beach sifting through the shore for nice pieces. I filled the paper bag my lunch came in with as much as I could, and then climbed around the cliffs.

Back to the campsite, we enjoyed each other's company around the fire and ate s'mores and roasted marshmellows. We took several hikes, and spent a lot of time hanging out down by the river, which was a 1/2 mile from our campsite. There was nothing more memorable than lying on the banks of the Navarro with some of my closest friends, staring at about a million stars and the glorious Milky Way. I had forgotten how in Mendocino the lack of lights made shooting stars come all night long, and the sky and air is so clear and clean. In the morning we packed up camp and headed to Elk, where we had a picnic lunch on the Greenwood Beach. Something about the Elk Beach is so relaxing. I need to go back there with a full digi cam battery and snap some shots too... it is an absolute photographer's dream. Driftwood is scattered all along the beach. Greenwood Creek flows into the ocean with a fierceness, and is generally warmer than the cold surf. Lush foliage surrounds the beach on the cliffsides.

Elk is truly a healing place. When I moved there feeling torn and lost from LA's wicked falseness, I was able to truly discover my path. Whenever life gets too crazy, I can always go back there and feel safe. I knew I needed to move away when I did, because when you live in paradise and you start resenting it, you have no where to go that is more beautiful or relaxing than you already are. Where do you go on vacation, when you live in paradise?

A little about my DJing...

Workin the EQs at my last gig.


I had to write a research paper on the graphic design world as it relates to the direction I wish to go in my career. I sent a questionnaire to all the friends I have in the DJ world, to try to get some help in explaining the parallels of my music and art. The main reason I chose to ask these questions was to get a specific viewpoint of the music and correlate that to their perception of cover art and the evolution of the scene from the early 90's to today. Here is what I sent them:

Hello there, friends.
I am working on my final thesis project at school and was wondering how many of you want to be cool and help me out. All I need is that you answer a few simple questions regarding the music you love! I am writing a thesis about the evolution of electronic music, the different views in different areas of the world, the parallels of EDM as an music form to graphic design and the art world; how both embrace human's mastery of technology to further the expression of humanity. These new art forms have created cultures and sub-cultures and allowed us to see and hear the world in new ways, and is often viewed as the future of sound, and is characteristically shown in the futuristic/robotic themes in the graphic arts associated with electronica. I won't bore you with too many details, but if you could just copy and paste the following questions below with your answers that would help me so much!! And if you know anyone else who can give good responses, please send it to them! thanks in advance ! (I answered the questions to give you an idea of what the questions mean!)

1. Your DJ Name: DJ Dylema
2. How long have you been spinning? almost 4 years
3. Where are you from? Northern California
4. What genre(s) do you spin? Anything good. Mostly techno &
electro, with some house.
5. What genre(s) are popular in your area? House, NRG, Hard house, and trance.
6. What kind of music did you spin when you started spinning records?
Techno and breakbeats.
7. DJing or Producing? I haven't produced yet, but I would love to.
So I guess djing.
8. CDs or vinyl? I am not opposed to CD spinning, but I prefer vinyl.
9. Small club or Huge rave? small club, definitely.
10. Biggest crowd you've spun for? A couple hundred, not too big.
11. Your most memorable experience spinning? A party on the beach
under the stars.
12. First record you bought? I bought two: Nigel Richards, Want to
fahk/Hallowlead, and Adam X, Over & Out EP.
13. Best art on a record sleeve in your collection? Probably one of
the Jackal & Hyde records or maybe one of Lekebusch's, the KGB art is
pretty cool.
14. Has the scene changed a lot since you started spinning? No, not
really, San Fran seems a bit stuck in their ways, in my opinion.
(They never let me play techno). Only a few DJs really excite me
around here. I do believe it is back on the upswing in terms of the
global scene.
15. Brief description of your mixing style: Some layering, some
chop-ups, I can't scratch :( It depends on what I'm spinning at the
time.
16. Genre you wish you knew more about: Drum & Bass and Hardcore
17. Major Influences: Nigel Richards and Luke Slater
18. Best Party/Club Event you ever attended: Nocturnal Wonderland
2000. Fifty-thousand ravers, DJ Monk, Rabbit in the Moon, non-stop
good music and good vibes.
19. Anyone ever asked you for an autograph? Not yet. but people
always beg me for cds.
20. Best old record you own: Kraftwerk, TransEurope Express
21. Best new record you own: David Carretta, Kill Your Radio
22. Best mixtape or CD: Nigel Richards, Live in Tampa... made me
start spinning records.
23. Label/Associations: I spin for Hardcore Trout Productions.
24. Favorite labels/notable producers: anything by Luke Slater,
Anthony Rother, Green Velvet or David Carretta, or on 611 records,
Tortured/Electrix Records, or Gigolo Records.
25. Any new stuff to plug? No, unfortunately. I'm working on a new
slammin electro demo though.
26. Anything else to add? Well... guess I should just say that i
think DJing means you are always standing on the shoulders of those
who came before you. It is a constant recycling of sounds, old and
new, and is a completely versatile form of music. But a good DJ is
one who is always looking for the freshest, most evolved sound, which
is why it is seen as the the future of music.