RANT: People are driving me crazy!!!

I've been doing this customer service thing for way too long. I'm convinced it leads to anti-social behaviors which ultimately lead to a general dislike for the masses.

Typical behaviors I've noticed today from people that contribute to such things:

1. Name dropping & the elitist customer:
This pertains to all those who expect preferential treatment because "I've been shopping here for ___ years" or "I know the owner" or similar statements. Most of the time they don't really know anyone, and they probably haven't spent more than a hundred dollars in your store in the last year.

2. Know it alls who know nothing.
People who unleash their multitude of useless information, which generally leads to my understanding that they really don't know anything. In a record store this would be trying to explain a track with no words and using buzz words such as "hard" or "bumpin" which could explain pretty much anything in the store.

3. Complainers.
Those who complain about the music playing, the temperature of the store, the lack of whatever they are looking for in the store. I work here; i don't control everything. We can't please everyone!!

4. Time suckers.
People who take up all your time looking for something very specific but not being able to explain exactly what they want. They spend hours with you and end up buying nothing and leaving a mess for you to clean. I don't mind if you want to shop for hours and I don't mind helping you, but don't pretend to be the only focus of my whole day.

5. The low life.
Just wants to talk to you so he can find someway to get into your pants. Has no interest whatsoever in buying what you sell in your store.

6. The mother/father figure.
Pertains more to coffee shop work. Watches every step you do to ensure they are getting exactly what they want. Questions you on every step. Basically looks over your shoulder, asking, "is that decaf?" or "is that non-fat milk?" or similar questions. Don't tell me how to do my job, i already have a boss for that. I'm not stupid, you just heard us call the drinks out and write them on your cup!!

7. The freebie guy.
"What do you have that's free in here?"

8. The guy that expects you to be a directory for the entire city.
I can answer some questions about where certain things are, but if I don't know, these people give me an attitude. It helps to know the vicinity of where you are going, or the name of the place. I'm not 411, i'm not required to give you any information.

9. Competition inquiriers
"Do you know if _____ has what I'm looking for?"
What the hell, am I supposed to know the entire inventory of every store in the City that has similar products as us? Why don't you go there and check it out, or here's an idea: CALL THEM!!

10. Rude people.
The ones that want you to wait on them hand and foot, but still have no manners. They won't answer your greeting when they walk in. They won't make eye contact, and they won't smile. In some cases they can be overly rude with snide comments.

I think i need a desk job.